When I first studied abroad in 2012, I had to fill in various documents with personal information, and one of them asked for an “Emergency Contact.” 

More than 20 names jumped into my mind one by one, but I sifted them out. After a while, I decided to fill in my own name. 

I had some close friends and families in China, but if something happened to me they couldn’t help me immediately. The feeling of being alone in a foreign country is especially acute at such times. 

People who hear about studying abroad always have fantasies about it. Before coming to the United States, I often heard people say, “You will have a good life when you study abroad, unlike us, working so hard.” 

Or, “I envy you enjoying your happiness abroad.” 

Hearing these left me feeling helpless. Contrary to what they imagine, there are no nightly parties, no days of buying luxury and driving a roadster, and no such thing as just reading a few books in a few days for a test. 

For many international students homesickness is often their leading cause of loneliness. 

Vincent Mou ’16, a Chinese student at St. Michael’s College, said that when his American friends asked him which Chinese restaurant was the best in Vermont, he was stunned. “‘It’s supposed to be the food cooked by my mom,’” Mou told them. 

Homesickness is not the only cause of loneliness, and there is more to it than simply missing family. 

“In the first year of studying abroad, I was perplexed,” said a senior Japanese student who asked not to be identified. “I felt that I had little connection with this society. I had no conversation with my friends [at home in Japan], and I nearly didn’t have any foreign friends. 

“Nobody cared. I could have stayed up until 2 or 3 a.m., and nobody knew. There was no difference in the world without me,” he said. 

Students who study abroad are accompanied by both joys and sorrows. On our left there is a pile of papers waiting for our attention, while on our right there is a phone call with our parents telling them, “Hey mom, everything is ok,” and during which we are forced to hold back our tears. 

“I was not alone when I entered U.S. Customs with a 23-kilogram suitcase,” said Mingjun Yang ’19, a Chinese international student. “I was not alone when I went shopping by myself. I was not alone when I was in a daze and did nothing at my dorm. 

“However, I felt very lonely when I had a fever and lay in a small bed,” she said. “My mother no longer woke me up in the middle of the night and gave me a cup of salt water. I didn’t want to bother my friends helping me.” 

Richard Gamache, associate professor of applied linguistics who acts as advisor to many international students, has seen many students suffer from homesickness. “Loneliness can be experienced by anyone whenever he/ she is away from the presence, comfort and support of family and friends,” said Gamache. 

“The sooner one is able to feel comfortable enough to reach out and engage in the new community, the better,” he said. In the meantime, he suggests making an appointment with the counseling staff at Wellness Center. 

“American students here at St. Michael’s also experience loneliness from time to time,” Gamache added. And when they go abroad, it can be particularly challenging. 

“Homesickness was honestly my biggest challenge,” said Devin Imperati ’19, an American student who spent last fall semester in Japan. “At the end of my time in Japan, I realized I didn’t even want to come home. I missed my family but I loved the way I was living. There was so much to learn.” 

“Coming home was one of the hardest things, even harder than leaving home. I was excited to go to Japan because I didn’t know what I would experience; coming home was much less exciting because while I’d see my family, I knew what I was returning to,” Imperati said. 

On the road of studying abroad, loneliness and helplessness seem unavoidable. The language barrier, environment maladjustment, and homesickness could be the cause of these negative emotions. Gradually, some students become more and more confined to their own worlds. 

Once students overcome the dilemma of loneliness, we’ll find the appropriate answer more quickly, when we fill in the “Emergency Contact.”